Simply living the simple life with God, Grace and Giggles

Happiness or joy?

IMG_3577It’s a couple of days into 2018 and my social media feeds are full of people pushing happiness. Happiness. I wonder why I feel like this is wrong. Maybe it’s because God often moves me out of perfectly fine states of happiness to places of discomfort, and awkwardness. He leads me on arduous journeys that are sometimes the exact opposite of happy. There have been times when I’ve been coasting on auto pilot, perfectly content where I am – physically, emotionally, geographically, and God in His perfect wisdom and love leads me over there..or there…or up there. Oh sure, I reckon it’s up to me to follow, and if I just want to wallow in my self-induced happiness He’ll just leave me here I am.  It’s my choice. But, I know, because my Father and I have walked together for a lot of years, that when I follow HIM, the final destination is not ‘happiness.’ In fact, no matter where He leads, at the end of it, truth is, I pray that my state of being is not HAPPY. Because, what I’ve learned is, that in this temporary world, there will be plenty of happy times, sad times, glad times, grieving times. Seasons of our lives dictate our circumstances, but our relationship with God dictates the state of our souls. And, the state of our souls is how our emotions go. When I am ‘happy,’ it is very comfortable and feels good.  Sure some measure of happiness is God ordained, ( the myth that Christians always need to be in some conflicted state is, in my opinion, incorrect,) but, when I follow Him, the destination leads not to happiness but to JOY. I will gladly give up any self induced happiness for God ordained JOY.

Consider some of my favorite scriptures about God: For the kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and JOY in the Holy Spirit. Romans 14:17 NLT. The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with JOY. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving. Psalm 28:7. Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the JOYS of those who take refuge in Him. Psalm 34:8 NLT.

In 2018 I want to live intentionally for Him and with Him. I want to, without hesitation, follow where he leads. Travel with him. Introduce people to Him and for those who already know Him, encourage them to move past ‘happiness’ and discover His joy. It’s a journey worth taking.

His faithful love will never disappoint.

The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My (Jesus) purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying live. John 10:10 NLT.

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Think a thought ? Don’t believe everything you think.

Thoughts come and go.  My husband once preached a sermon were he pointed out that we rarely, if ever say, “I think I’ll think a thought.” That has stuck with me but hasn’t always stopped thoughts from gathering unhealthily in my brain. Thoughts just arrive. Sometimes welcome and sometimes not so much. It’s not the thought itself that we should be concerned about, it is what we do with the thought that helps determine our spiritual health.  Think about it..(see what I did there?).. our minds are continually assaulted with images, noise, and yes, thoughts. Even at night dreams or nightmares invade our minds.  Our brains are constantly processing. Negative thoughts, happy thoughts, guilt, celebration. The Holy Spirit directs us to good things and satan coerce us the wrong way.  It all started because I felt disrespected. And, the more I thought about the situation the more disrespected I felt. I wasn’t able to discuss this perceived disrespect with the offending person, so I just kept thinking…they’re disrepecting me.  I was quickly working my way into victim status, and soon, on top of feeling disrespected, I was despondent:

  • No one liked me.
  • No one was calling to check on me.
  • No one cared.
  • No one read my stuff.
  • No one …

What started off as an uninvited thought was now like an aggressive parasite twisting  into my mind and spirit. The downward spiral continued. That was the beginning of my brain’s spiritual clog.

I cried to God, ‘why doesn’t anyone reach out? Why doesn’t anyone know my pain? Where are you? Why do people hate me? I am worn out from trying to be good, and nice, and pleasant and kind. I am tired of being rejected and really kind of frustrated with the way people treat me. Why are they so thoughtless? Why are they so reckless with my feelings? Why aren’t they reading my stuff? Why won’t they let me do their photos? Why can’t they see me? Do they even try?’  Maybe it was the deluge of question, but probably more it was my clogged ears via the brain stuff up, but if He did answer, I didn’t hear Him.

I shared my woes with only my husband and best friend. He was very reassuring that while these thoughts were real, the were also completely untrue. He encouraged me to just look around and see how God had blessed me with friends and family who genuinely love and care about me. But, when I did look, I saw only the lack of love. They certainly didn’t tell of the love. Or, if they did, my clogged ears didn’t hear.

  I needed to take all my thoughts captive. Like losers of a war.

As the spiritual clog in my mind grew, stuffing up my ears and any passage to my heart, there was a disconnect between God and I. While I still prayed and read the word. I journeled and as usual, he was a part of every day conversation, but it was if there was a haze between my spirit and the Holy Spirit. Something needed to happen. I needed a good dose of thought Draino.

I’m pretty sure that since all attempts from Satan to stop Christianity have failed, although he has given it a good run, he certainly isn’t going to stop now. He started in heaven when he challenged our Creator, tried to end things in the Garden, he attempted to stop our reconciliation with God when Jesus was being born, by slaughtering all the male babies. He stalked Jesus his whole life trying to tempt him, persuade him, make him a nonentity. He thought, probably, that he had won a great victory when he coerced Jesus’ crucifixion. (We know it was all a part of our great God’s plan, but did Satan know that? Or did he just want Jesus dead?) . Of course, when Jesus awoke from death and took his place in heaven, I reckon Satan was very angry. And, how best to attack a family? Get to the kids.

Satan is not some long gone mythical creature, as some suppose. In the book of Ephesians we are reminded that our battle is not against flesh and blood but against the spiritual forces in the air.

LINDA’S LIGHT BULB MOMENT ! Huh. Maybe, the people doing those mean things weren’t really doing them? Maybe that spiritual clog had clouded my reasoning ? Maybe that clog in my mind, all those thoughts, all the despair, the talking myself into a victim status, was satan knitting together a big old ball of lies and accusations to bring a hurricane of chaos.

God is not the author of chaos, so that leaves one guy. That guy. He’s a real pain. Not only does he hate God and His kids, He does his best to make sure no one will give their lives to God. He doesn’t play fair and doesn’t care who he takes captive.

Once I realized my clogged mind was stopping the flow of love and life to my spirit and I understood who was responsible for causing that clog, a plan of action was needed.


Spiritual battles are won and lost on our knees and in our spirits.  Of course our Father has equipped us for everything we need to live for Him here on earth. It is no surprise to him what we will encounter and the battles we will face.

Remember because of His great love for  us, He sent His only Son to be the final sacrifice that would put us back in a right relationship with him. And, when Jesus was here on earth, He left after defeating death, and sent a comforter – the Holy Spirit so we would not be alone. Then, God directed the writing of the Bible so we would have a way to understand this new life we have after we give our lives to him. His intimate knowledge of us ensures we are not alone. He will never leave us. But we have a part in the deal, too.  After giving our lives to him, we are new creations in Christ. Now, we need to keep our hearts, mind and eyes constantly tuned to Him.

Here’s a how to:

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My two Prayer ‘secrets’


It is super helpful when your husband has written a course on the foundations of Christian life. Then, when God leads me into those kinds of faith conversations, I have helpful resources! Firm Foundations is my secret number 1.

Then there’s this. When God  convicts me of something – usually during prayer time – I like to act on it as soon as possible. I feel like if I don’t,  I’m starting a pretty good foundation for a fence between He and me. Last week I was reminded of a time, four years previous, where I had harshly scolded three of my grandkids. We were on the homestead trying to corral some goat and sheep escapees. We had been at it for what seemed like hours, and we knew that the animals may had already eaten from the formal gardens, (many of the plants poisonous to them), we were tired, pretty clueless, frustrated and worried. I yelled at the boys. It wasn’t right. God convicted me four years later,  so I texted an apology to each kiddo. One of them just responded with his love and sent me about 25 heart emojis. The other two assured me it was fine and then asked me if I was ok. (I reckon it seemed like I’d gone off the deep end), but I explained to them why I texted them and then they understood. But, one pursued the questioning. He asked me, “How can I do that?”

So, we got on a texting exchange about prayer. (Blessed!) Just so happens this grand and I  recently had texted about baptism. This is where Lance’s Firm Foundations (the course) comes in handy. As a mature Christian I know how I pray but trying to convey that to others, besides just saying, “it’s just talking to God,” is hard for me. The problem is I use church language. The Firm Foundations course explains it (and I remember learning to pray this way, too),  using the acronym A.C.T.S. ( adoration, confession, thanksgiving and supplication). So, I cut and paste that section for him, (explaining each word because I didn’t fully understand what they all meant when I learned), and he wrote back, “this is powerful. I am going to use this for me and my family.”  That does this Believer’s (and Nana’s) heart so good.

Further conversation led to my prayer secret number 2. Although I have been talking with God for quite a while now, I still struggle with a certain part of our relationship. In Psalm 46 it says, “Be still and know that I am God.” The hardest part of praying ACTS for me, is not the praise or intercession or asking forgiveness. It’s not even confessing my sins (they’re pretty obvious), the  hardest part for me is to be STILL. It is  a vital part of prayer though, because in the stillness comes the listening, and in the listening comes the knowing. And, in the knowing comes a closer walk with God.

It’s pretty fantastic that God still uses me in the lives of my Grands even though I am – literally – continents away. He knows exactly what I need.

Blessings to you as you journey with Him.



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Our path. “I’ll go ahead of you; clearing and paving the road.” God. (Isaiah 45:2 The Message)

Some people might think it’s a silly way to live. ‘Just pick the life you want and live it’, they think. But, for us, as His children. we’d rather wait on Him and live the L…

Source: Our path. “I’ll go ahead of you; clearing and paving the road.” God. (Isaiah 45:2 The Message)

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Our path. “I’ll go ahead of you; clearing and paving the road.” God. (Isaiah 45:2 The Message)


It’s been a stress filled year. With Lance’s job being made redundant, me working at Home Depot and us not knowing what God has in store, we have made decisions based on feelings and not necessarily on facts. Because of this uncertainty I didn’t put my garden in: a decision I now regret. I did decide to get the replacement shoulder surgery because our insurance was about to be over and I needed to do it or have a more complex surgery later. (On that note, God provided in an amazing way. My $4,000 deductible was miraculously met by an online writer friend.) Now I spend my time in intense recovery. So the Man is doing all farm chores himself. Not easy. Not fair. Stressful while he works a full time job. What we hold to is that while we can’t see it clearly, God’s plan is still in effect for our lives.

‘God is striding ahead of you. He is right there with you. He won’t let you down. He won’t leave you. DON’T BE INTIMIDATED. DON’T WORRY.’ Deuteronomy 31:8 . (easier read then lived) The Message. So, God has laid out the path before us, we will follow it, but first, we have to step out  on to it – and of course before that can happen, we have to be clear of the other tempting easier, wider paths.

There’s a chance we might end up back in Australia. There’s a chance he will get an offer for a job back at Microsoft (which is what he wants), there’s  a chance we will buy a ten acre property complete with greenhouses and mature fruit trees and out buildings and a teeny tiny house. Chances rain all around us. Different paths with different end results. It’s confusing, stressful and can be a bit life stalling.


So we do what we know. What we know is that we need to sell this house. The property layout doesn’t meet our needs and the nightly climb to the master bedroom is something we both could do without . So, while we wait on God to show us THE path, we do what we can. We prepare the house for sale, less clutter, clean up the pastures, sell the animals. We get dirty, we clean up.   And we look and wait for His direction.

Some people might think it’s a silly way to live. ‘Just pick the life you want and live it’, they think. But, for us, as His children. we’d rather wait on Him and live the LIFE HE WANTS. Living in the center of His will is much better than living geographically where I want, although there’s no reason they both won’t be the same.

We are practicing faith walking where His faithful walk by faith and not by sight. (2 Corinthians 5:7.

In the meantime we work. Well, the Man works and I do what I can to assist. To borrow the words of the famous poet: “I took the road less traveled by, and that made all the difference.” Robert Frost.


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Waking Sleeping Beauty

Linda Mae Baldwin


Asleep for 100 years because of a spell cast by a wicked jealous fairy, and awakened by the somewhat sacrificial (she had been asleep for a hundred years, no telling what her hygiene was), kiss of a handsome Prince, Sleeping Beauty is a tale that has touched hearts and invaded young girl’s dreams for years.

Although we do not know Sleeping Beauty’s state of slumber, did she dream? She was alive, heart beating, lungs breathing, just sleeping.

Before we are born again into Christ’s kingdom, we are in a sort of state of slumber. Our body doesn’t sleep, our spirit does. We are born separated from God. Blame it on our first ancestors in the garden, falling for the serpent’s great lie. (Genesis 3:4-6 “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them opened, and they realized they were naked)

Today, there seems to an even more pervasive spell of sorts permeating our society as God and Jesus are taken out of public venues. Not only is it difficult to approach people about Jesus because they don’t know him, it’s just as difficult to talk to those who have a form of religiosity and hold to myths, and legends, and aren’t willing to break with tradition to embrace the one true King – Jesus. (2 Timothy 3:15 3 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power.)

Sleeping Beauty snoozed for one hundred years and it could not just be any ordinary Prince to break the spell over the kingdom. No, this prince had to be, “a man of pure heart who must fall in love with her,” who would bring her back to life, (Or awaken her.) So it is with Jesus.

Before our spirit wakes with the kiss of the Holy Spirit, we walk through a sort of half-life controlled by our own desires. We give no thought to God or Jesus until an event takes place, and our spirit is touched by the Holy Spirit. We see clearly, what we’ve been missing. We understand that the only way back to a right relationship with God is to accept the gift of the sacrifice of his perfect son, who paid for what we owed….death. He didn’t wait for us to get perfect to be in a right relationship with him, He sent his one and only Son to take on the whole sin of the world, for us. (Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.)

It was a weird experience when my spirit woke. My husband and I had been in ministry for a few years. I was leader extraordinaire. I memorized scripture and prayed quite righteously. Then, we had an old-fashioned tent revival with a charismatic evangelist who spoke about the second coming, when Jesus would return for His church, and how those left behind would suffer a bitter life. I was scared. I talked to my husband about how uneasy I had been through the sermons. It was a chaos of fear, tears, sadness and hope inside me. The last night he told a story about a preacher’s wife who was very involved in ministry. One night they had watched a movie about the rapture, and the preacher had turned to her and said, “Isn’t that great? I can’t wait for that day.” However, his wife could only say she was scared. It was then they knew she had never given her heart to Jesus. She had said all the right words and done good things but the Holy Spirit had never kissed her spirit. That night she did. That preacher was he and the wife was his own. It was also my story. I had not fully given my heart to Him and that night, when I did, it was as if I woke up. I felt like a new person. Sure it was difficult to stand before the church and say, “hey, I’ve been fooling you these past couple of years, but don’t worry, I’ve been fooling myself too.”

The Bible says we are joint heirs with Christ so that means we are now, princesses. Awesome! Awesome the princess must have said when she awoke to see her prince. And, so too, it can be for you.


Linda Mae Baldwin

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My life verse …not so cheery..but true.

There have been four times in my life when I wallowed in the following scripture.

I soaked it in, rubbed my tear stained face in it, buried my toes in it and squeezed handfuls in my clenched fists. And, here I am, again, today.

THIS IS INDEED MY LIFE VERSE. “Though the cherry trees don’t blossom (WELL, OUR PLUM TREE’S GRAFT IS DEAD, SO WE HAVE A HALF DEAD TREE) and the strawberries don’t ripen, Though the apples are worm-eaten, and the wheat fields stunted,Though the sheep pens are sheepless (WE REHOMED LUCY, EDMUND AND WINSTON YESTERDAY) and the cattle barns empty I’m singing joyful praise to God. I’m turning cartwheels of joy to my Savior God.(BUT NOT PHYSICAL CARTWHEELS JUST EMOTIONAL ONES) …
Counting on God’s Rule to prevail, (AND IT WILL)

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The Day of my 38th Wedding Anniversary



Desolate Waters


With Lance still looking for work after his company reorganized and got rid of his position, my life things are in a relative state of chaos so my prayer life has increased. Sad that it takes a crisis to drive me closer to Jesus. But, that’s the way of this flawed human. It’s no doubt why certain songs resonate with me, songs about slipping away from Him but something happens (usually tragic) and we’re back in his presence again. Like these: Back Street Driver, Change THIS heart, That was THEN, this is NOW.

Too many times I  depend on myself, which is scary, or, worse yet, I put the burden of a content life on those around me, especially my husband. How wrong is that?  He is just as flawed as me! And, certainly it is unfair to put him in that position. Nope….my life should be lived squarely The Middle of His heart. When this doesn’t happen, history proves that sooner or later,  I’ll end up depressed, angry, or bitter. Certainly I will not be relishing the full and abundant live Jesus promised in John 10:10 “ I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.” The Message Version.

You can’t get away from flawed humans. You are born to them. You are one. Your siblings will be them. Your Aunts, uncles, cousins, teachers, friends, every single person you contact will be a member of the flawed human club. It is carried in us from our first parents, Adam and Eve. 


In any relationship it is not up to ANYONE else to make us happy. It is OUR duty, with the filling of the Holy Spirit to live our lives as unto Christ. It took me a while to understand that Lance Baldwin was not here in our relationship to make my every wish and dream come true. He isn’t to fill me with joy, or entertain me, it’s not his job to know my thoughts or whims, or fix my sadness. He is supposed to love me as Christ loves the church..enough that he would give his life for me…and he does. As head of our family he provides for us, he does make me happy and he does entertain me, but that’s because in our relationship, it’s how we roll. I think too many women, Believers, are under the false assumption, as I was that her beloved is to love her as Christ loves the church, and that includes reading her mind. Buying her flowers,  taking her to concerts, or __________, whatever it is that makes her feel happy. Instead, a woman should be finding her joy in her Lord, and those other things, those’ make today happy things’, will follow. Or they won’t. But when they don’t, she won’t get angry, or hurt or bitter, because it is CHRIST in her that makes life good, not her circumstance.


A few years ago I wrote an article about divorce. Divorce, The Unpardonable Sin? I was touched by women who were flayed by the church when they sought divorce. Some of these women needed to get away from danger and needed to have freedom, but they were being counseled to stay in the abusive situation.  I think that’s absurd and gives permission for flawed men to take advantage of a doctrine that is not completely understood. Some pastors hold onto that one scripture, “God hates divorce.” And they wield it like a weapon against the already battered woman. There’s very little grace, mercy love or Jesus involved. But, I digress.  I’m getting feedback that my article is giving permission of sorts for young women to quit on thier marriages. Well first of all WHOA, SLOW THE ROLL! My words are written, with good intentions, by a flawed human. They should NOT in any way take place of HIS WORD or be used as any sort of authority.  Secondly, to these women, or anyone going that very wrong route of using flawed humans words and not His holy word, I ask that you take a hard look inward because this is where the problem lies.

It’s sobering to realize thier husbands are flawed, and perhaps not living up to the expectations they had of who thier husband would be. Along with bills, and kids and aging,  turns out marriage is not as fun, or romantic, or as good as they thought it would be. Husbands changed, maybe physically, maybe emotionally, things are hard. In fact, it looks like life is  heading to the ‘worse’ of the ‘for better or worse’,  piece of thier vows and, perhaps, ‘for better until it’s worse,’ or, ‘for better or until something better comes along,” should actually have been thier vows. But, it’s no reason to quit.

Ruth Graham was often fond of saying, “If two people agree on everything one of them is unnecessary.” And, it’s true. Arguments will come and go, sometimes it seems we might be in a never ending season of discord. This is why I urge women to look inward. What is it that you’re lacking? Why are you so unhappy? Why is your husband suddenly your foe. Why do you think you’re marriage is unhealthy? If we listen too often to the unhappy voices of people who have failed in marriage, or who hate men, or watch too much reality tv, too much Oprah, too much Dr. Phil, you’re filling your soul with only things that agree with you.  Instead you must immerse yourself in Him. Do not fall prey to the trash on TV. Or the friends who urge you to fail. Hey, are you married to a yeller? Me, too!  Am I in a taxing relationship? Not even close. Does your husband say mean things to you? Pray for him. Do you say mean things to him? Pray for yourself.Is your husband married to the exact same women he said, “I do,” to? Hmmmm. Probably not. Mine isn’t. There’s more of me. There’s all the stuff that drive him nuts, but I can’t seem to get a hold stacking books, and piles of magazines….is he in an abusive relationship? Hardly. I adore him. We both hold to the adage, “A good marriage is the union of two good forgivers. (Ruth Graham).

Our culture today says if it’s too hard give up and start over. But, God says that a covenant last forever. It’s time to roll up your sleeves, pray for tough skin and a soft heart, and talk with your man. Remember why you two got married in the first place. Before the bitterness, and ridiculously high expectations, and Christ like qualities you placed on your flawed human husband came on. It’s up to you. Only you can change you. Only you can spend time in His word. Only you can pray and battle for your family. Of course, this only works if you’re willing to put in the work. But it is work. And, already you may have found some better ‘way.’

When we said our vows, we didn’t promise to never disappoint one another. That would be silly. He’s flawed, I’m flawed. Disappointment will abound.  Marriage is hard. Life is hard. But, each of us controls our own relationship with God. And, that makes all the difference.

Remember that “It’s CHRIST in you, not YOU in other circumstances.” Elizabeth Elliott


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Winter is not my favorite season.

this is from my homestead blog, but it pertains to here ya go…:)

Baldwin Acres

Except for Christmas, winter is not my favorite season. I think we must be on day 427 in a row of rain and gray skies. The back pasture has flooded at least twice. The pig sty looks like,well, a pig sty.  The damp coolness plays and pokes at my joints and muscles, and my hair is in constant need of a hat. Winter and I do not get along.

When you don’t get along with something you can either live in misery and complain about the situation, which admittedly I do from time to time, or you can look for the good. the old making lemonade out of lemons idea.

IMG_7816 Snow on Baldwin Acres

This winter scene is pretty. Snow makes the scenery a little more beautiful. This is our raised garden and small orchard area. This doesn’t fit into my winter blah scenario because it is lovely, lasts only…

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“We reorganized: your postion has been eliminated.”



I’ve been a stay at home mom and then a stay at home wife for the last 15 years. I would refer to myself as a trophy wife, but I’m not as shiny and cold as a statue. I am, however, able to refer to myself as a kept woman. My husband does a fine job of that. We meld together to support and encourage one another, but it was our choice early on in our marriage to follow the biblical mandate for marriage …where the wife is the help mate, created second after the man, not to be less than he, but to complement him, and to be his companion.



For some this is so confusing. They assume because I’m my husband’s help mate, it makes me less than. This is so far from reality I couldn’t even give an adequate measurement. To be his help mate has meant this:

  1. When he felt the Lord leading him to become a Pastor, we prayed about it, talked about it, discussed it and when it was time to leave the Marine Corps to pursue this venture, I was supportive and not whiny.
  2. When the kids were in school and I had started college, he got called to a church out of state. The idea was I would finish college at the new place, but then kids and work and church life took over, so that got put on the back burner..but I had peace in what I was doing.
  3. When he developed debilitating headaches, I encouraged him to seek help. He isn’t one to go the doctor preferring instead to let things work themselves out, but it was obvious this wasn’t going away. And we worked through the treatment together. We prayed about it together, and together we found a remedy. It’s together we continue the ongoing treatment to make sure these headaches don’t take over again.
  4. It means being there when he needs me and being away when he needs it.
  5. It means praying for him and our children and our family.
  6. It means trusting him. It means we know we complement one another and we understand each has unique God given roles.

He, of course affords me the same things. But, mostly, we are individually who God has called us to be. We are, individually, accountable to Him, and thus, when we are then accountable to one another, it’s much easier. I am free to be the woman God made me to be with all the gifts, talents and flaws, made me to be and loved by a man who continually puts me and his family before him.

There’s a story going around now written by a man who says his wife divorced him because he left the dirty glass by the dishwasher. He said he realizes now it was so important to her that he should have done it then. It’s a respect thing. This piece of writing is getting passed around Facebook and many of my friends re-post with a resounding, AMEN, and when I comment – with a different take, people aren’t so understanding.

While they agree with him, I think when we begin to keep track of who does what for who in a ‘I love you more because I did ____”, we start to expect payback. The things I did to help my husband lead our family in a godly way, weren’t done to get anything, except to fulfill my role. I didn’t think, “I did that so he should do this,”…no, we’re a team, working together. When spouses start expecting payback, or depend on their spouse to make them happy, complete or fulfilled, the relationship will be strained. Each must be in tune with God, that is where our hope, joy, love etc, must come from. No human can do that. Because we’re all flawed. But serving your spouse without thought to payback is refreshingly freeing and wholly biblical. It’s the way we should live our lives. Selflessly.

Instead of getting angry because your spouse doesn’t do something you want, or does something you don’t like, try praying about it and then calmly communicating with them. Don’t make a list, even a mental one, of how disappointed you are in your spouse for their failures. Look instead to the many successes. Ask yourself how you can make things easier, better, calmer. Are you selfish? Do you spend a lot of time wishing you were away from the family, from your husband? Have you talked to God about that because it’s not the way the marriage is supposed to be.


When my husband got a call that they had reorganized his company and his position had been eliminated, I was shocked. This is a man who meets his sales numbers, has received numerous company awards and has millions of dollars projected in his pipeline. How could they get rid of him? And, then I got angry. How dare they dismiss him like this. Obviously his former manager has no business sense. But, once they anger dissipated, I found myself praying for him, for his former boss, and for his future position.

Our adult children have been our biggest champions, calling to check on us, offering help, networking for us and praying with us. They remind us that God has this under control and there’s no reason to fear. Because of those encouraging words, we remembered the time my husband had lost three jobs in one year. But, we never missed one paycheck. Maybe things won’t work that way this time, maybe they will. But my prayer is that God will bless him with a job that is perfect for him. Something that fits well, and with good managers. And seeking how I can be helpful during this time. Because that is my job. Help mate..I’m not less than, I’m not an after thought, I’m not unimportant, or irrelevant. I am created by God and I am happily the wife of a man who seeks to serve God and love his family. Selflessly we serve one another. Together we are united and serving our one true king, Jesus.



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