So,  immediately I pray for the kids and the grandkids, following Psalm 103:17:  But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear/love him, and his righteousness to children’s children, (the Grands!) to those who keep his covenant and remembers to do his commandments .

But, sometimes a bad day is just a bad day. And sometimes sadness is just sadness.

The options are limitless as to what can chase away the sadness. And, when I think, seriously think about what could possibly be stirring things in me, I remember, “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. (Psalm 42:5). But even still, remembering God’s great love for me, while my head understands, and my heart remembers, it doesn’t guarantee an immediate lift to my spirits.

What does?

1.  Looking at photos’ of my family. While it might also make me cry, it makes me happy to see them and to remember what is so important to me, and what God has richly blessed me with.
2. Crying. Weeping. Don’t know why but it helps.
3. Exercising. Maybe it pumps the sadness through
   the veins and out in sweat. (This makes no sense at all but you understand
   where I am coming from).
4. Write. It’s a good way to process my emotions
   and feelings. I like to do blogs because I reckon maybe someone else is feeling
   the same way at some time and it’ll make a difference.
5. This is not a good way to deal with any emotion.
   But I admit I do it. Eat. Now, I used to eat for every emotion: Happy? Sad? Lonely?
   Worried? Anxious? Nothing a little sweet, carb load won’t fix. But, I’m not
   doing that anymore. I realized it is very unhealthy and the try to fix the way
   it makes you feel way worse than the sadness I tried to dispel, but I do from
   to time have a peanut butter and jelly wrap or some chocolate.
6. Walking. Not for exercise, just for being
   outside. In the sun. Or the rain, sadly being in the rain does not melt me.
7. Time. Weeping may last for the night, but joy
   comes with the morning. (Psalm 30:5) Of course if you’re trying to get over the
   sadness quickly, well this won’t help, but I’ve found, if I let the day or the
   hours go by, and engage in one of those things above, then, the heart and the
   spirit, will be happier – given time.

And, finally, I remember while it may be a little dramatic, it fits:  “You have turned for
me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth (or in my case, sweatpants and baggy t-shirt) and clothed me with gladness, that my glory may sing your praises and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever.” Psalm 30:11-12

Tomorrow we are going to the states. I wanted to shed the 10 pounds I’ve packed on before we left but that didn’t happen. What did happen is that  Lance and I got back to working out and running and it’s been a great two weeks, but not long enough. So, we go home heavier than we wanted to be, but that’s not going to affect our time home. After all, it just means there is more of us to love.

The one thing I’ve noticed is that I’m a little ‘addicted’ to the working out. I didn’t work out for the last two days as I get ready to leave and giving my swollen knee a rest, I’m feeling frumpy and grumpy.

So the plan is, when we’re home, we’re going to buy new shoes, new work out clothes and we’re going to a 5k run everyday. Our kids belong to a gym so maybe we’ll be able to go there too, and there are 10 grandkids to keep us busy…:) ….

So, if you’re feeling down, frumpy, heavier than you want to be…do something. Like I said last time, get up and move. Doesn’t have to be a run. Walk. Dance. Do some stretches, just don’t let your body and your age get you down and keep you there! It’s a better view from up here!

We have come a long way: half a world, changed our lives completely, Lance changed jobs to the same field but different aspect, we’ve moved from our 10 grandchildren and our children and family members. We’ve left our church and friends behind. And, now, here we are. It’s a miracle I haven’t gained all 50 pounds back.

One of the things I did learn in the lifestyle sessions though, is it’s okay to cut myself a break. So, because we tried to get nachos and margarita’s here for our date nights and we were very disappointed in the quality and cost of both, we began to make our own. Kept the cost down and the quality up. Then, instead of going out for a dinner in which one could pay 93.00 dollars for a plate of risotto with 3 olives and a plate of penne pasta with mystery sauce, and a glass of wine each, we began to eat more at home. This has limited our date nights, which in one sense is good, better quality less cost, but is bad too because one of us, me, thrives in the energy of other people’s energy. If we don’t go out, well, we tend to stay in, have great appetizers, good food, snacks and a movie on TV and then bed.

So, one good thing we’ve begun to do is get out on the weekends. We’ve been sea kayaking, snorkeling, going on photography walks, camping, and exploring cities and beaches. This weekend we’re going hiking in the rainforest and hope to do a skywalk. All this activity has probably helped in keeping the weight down, but the fact is, we’ve each gained five pounds or more back.

Again, reflecting back on what we learned during the program: It’s okay to make mistakes, just don’t keep making them. And don’t punish yourself for falling away from the lifestyle, instead, recognize and begin again. So we do.

I would be lying if I said it’s easy. I miss my trainer very much. She was not just my trainer but became my friend and my sister in Christ. When my motivation waned she was a great encourager. And, my nutritionist was very encouraging, and always had answers for food/life issues that perplexed me. And, while I do keep in contact with emails, it’s certainly not the same. So I’m left to my own devices. At 50 years old you’d think I’d have a handle on my own devices but I don’t.  I try to stay away from the destructive devices – eat more chocolate and ice cream to numb the pain, and go with the healthy devices – do SOMETHING physical and drink water.

The whole point is, one year later, I’ve still not reached my goal wight (145) and I’m five pounds heavier than when the program ended. (I was 14 pounds away from goal, I am now 20 pounds away). But, with the major life changes happening, I’m not going to beat myself and punish me by eating more sugar/salty/empty calorie foods. Instead, I’m going to go back to Phase one for two days. And go for walk. It all begins with one step.

oh, the kookaburra’s are out there, gotta go watch that site! All the life changes aren’t that bad afterall.

It’s a simple thing. Isn’t it? The water, fishing, the water. But it’s enough to make my heart calm and for a moment, whatever troubles me leaves. Peace.

Since moving to Australia life has been tumultuous. Lots of change raises the stress level, which also raises the cortisol hormone. I’ve gained back five of the fifty pounds I lost last year. I need a lot of things that will calm, comfort and soothe me and it shouldn’t be in the form or ice cream, cake or chocolate, (although the chocolate here is amazing). Life would be easier if I could wade through it in a sort of calorie induced haze, but I’m not going back to that again. So, I pray, a lot, about what the Lord would have me do. How to best handle all these emotions? He has the answers.

He sent me to something He introduced me to about two years ago; learning something new. When life gets a little crazy, life vision gets a little hazy….I either learn something new, or fine tune something I’m learning.. Most recently it’s been photography and knitting. Thus the picture of the fishing pole, and the knitted baby blankets for the new grandbabies. And, all the while I’m reminded that even though my life may seem chaotic, my cortisol levels may raise, I might be on the verge of tears, there are simple things I can do to resolve all that. Prayer. Love. Peace, and for me, photography and knitting.  Takes me to a different place. A quiet place.

You might not have the same stresses I do, but unless you’re dead, you do have stresses. And, I’m not sure you’re interested in knitting or photography, but if you spend time with Jesus and ask Him to direct you to a new thing, He’ll show you. This can be your simple thing to do in a simple place, even if just for a few minutes. Here you can find peace, calm and rest.

The best thing about finding and learning new simple things, is, if you do it with Jesus, then you won’t be alone, and you won’t be afraid and you will feel loved because He will never fail you. No matter where you live, or what you’re going through. He is there.

During the nights of massive rain Lance and I were kept awake by the most beyond irritating noise from the yard. We don’t know for sure if it was a bird, or a lizard, or a toad – we did find a little green frog floating in the pool one day, but we’re not sure it was him either. It was an awful sound, a mix between a screech, a scream, a squawk and a very loud cry. I just learned it maybe a Barking Gekko. If I’d know he was such a cutie I probably wouldn’t have been so angry!

Pretty cute!

So, now, there is a critter in the front yard, who, sounds like he’s barking, but it’s more raspy. We’ve seen two lizards and a skink out there, who knows what else is living in the area we can’t see!? The adventures of living in Australia.

The move has taken its toll on my ‘new self’ too. I’ve gained five pounds and much of the hard work I did last year is gone. Flab has taken over where semi-muscle was. And, because my workout schedule was so intense before I left, my mind/body/soul was adjusted to the endorphins. Since moving, there’s been no endorphins which could completely explain the crying and the anger. Either that or I’m going through the grieving process…which is also entirely understandable as my life has so completely been turned on its head! or rear, since everything down here is opposite of which I’m used to.

So, Barking Gekko, an extra six pounds and flab. Ah, sounds like paradise.

But, as God does, He’s blessed us with a lovely church. We found it online and were intrigued by their claim to be a ‘motley crew’ .  After visiting numerous churches this church had folks who actually made us feel like we belonged and were welcome. It was delightful and fulfilling and healing. Thanks South Pine! See you on Sunday!

Thursday night is our date night. Tomorrow! I can harldy wait! And, though the gekko’s been a little quiet these past few nights, maybe he’ll pop out and screech us a little song?