stress,food and life

It’s been two months since I stopped the lifestyle program. Gone are the dietician appointments and the two a week personal training sessions. Gone is the gym membership to a lovely club and my daily dates with a treadmill. Come is a stress level so high I can’t even give it a number. We’ve moved to a new country, Lance has a new job, and we’re living in a new community, a new culture and a new life. Gone are my children and my grandchildren. That’s a little dramatic. They aren’t gone, they just aren’t close by. And it’s very sad.

So how to deal with all these changes? Almost every day I think today I should run, today I should work out, today I should write. And, then, everyday I don’t. The excuses are viable. It’s been raining non-stop since we got here. We’re not able to do much outside without getting soaked. So, no running. I’m tired and sore when I wake up from our rented bed, so no exercise gets done. We do get to talk to the grandkids if we get up early enough, and initially it was difficult, but Lance got us great internet and now it’s good..if we get the timing right. And, the chocolate here is really good. So, that’s something I console myself with and punish myself with too.

So while the ins and outs of new life is stressful, and I miss my family very much, God is still in control and it’s a matter of determination to do the right things. Those things that play in my head but don’t go into motion. Well, maybe next week.

In the meantime, I’ve not gained weight and the stress is settling. I intend to get back to the basics of the lifestyle change because I really don’t like the way by body feels. My blood sugar is messed up and my fatigue is returning. But I know  I have control.

No one is going to the exercise for me, no one is going to put the proper food in my mouth, but me. And I can and I will. tomorrow.

When life should be great but it’s sad and glad…confused? Me too.

I reckon I have very little to complain about. I live in Australia now, for about 3 years, married to a wonderful man who understands me better than myself, I have a wonderful family: grown kids we’re friends with and grandkids who we share a mutual admiration society with…life is very good. We’re healthy. We’re safe. And, yet, I’m sad.

I thought, when we moved to Australia, that, it would be a big adventure and Lance and I could have some great alone time. What I didn’t take into account was the fact that Australia is not America. Which is not a bad thing, it should not be America, it is Australia. And, the unique things about Australia are what drew us here when the offer was presented. Also, we’re not getting younger and if we didn’t do these things, well, we might never get to do them. But, the little things of Australia are difficult to get used to. I’m not asking they change these things..well, not all of them anyways, but, I’m a little disappointed in myself that I can’t seem to enjoy it.

What I’ve learned is that just being here 10 days is not the time to make huge judgements on what you like or don’t like. It’s only 10 days. Being hooked up to the internet via Facebook email and twitter and Skype is really a great way to communicate with family back home. But here in Australia, it’s like it was in America 10 years ago. They are very far behind and it’s very expensive to have any sort of wired life. This is the thing I think they should change. It would open up a whole new world for their citizens and make like a little easier for me. (That is the most important thing, right?)

I seem like a princess and I guess I am pretty spoiled. But I can’t say it’s a bad thing that I want to keep in touch with my family. Is it? I have eight grandkids at home who are, I just KNOW, itching to talk to us without the video camera freezing up and such…right?

At church today someone said ‘give yourself 30 days’…sounds good…but then what? I kinda gotta give myself three years.

The good news is, the sad spots pass relatively quickly, and some complete stranger…Australian …will do something very kind to lighten my load. Also, Mercy Me’s cd the Generous Mr. Love well, is played often. It sings to my soul and makes me move…especially the songs Move and This Live…if you struggle from time to time, listen to these songs!

That’s all for now, I can’t write much because of the cost of the hook up, but I’m trying to stay up with our daily doings. if not for you, then for me, or those eight wee one’s back home!

Cheers!